Ask Sheila – finally some answers!

Q: Sheila, some of the people on my Christmas list are those tough-to-buy-for sorts. Any gift ideas? ;) – Carrie
A: Brains are always a good gift, or books. Books build big brains. Mmm, brains! Kidding, sort-of. You could write them a story, like Mad Libs, and fill in their name and other funny stuff, especially if it’s embarrassing, or snarf worthy. Then wrap it up like a puzzle made out of tape (make sure none of the tape touches your story or it will get destroyed). That way they get a story and a puzzle.

Q: I'm wondering how Sheila was helpful while you were sick...(maybe that is my question to her...) – Kelly
A: sruble is a weenie when she’s sick, seriously. She did turn a nice shade of green though, which totally made her look like a zombie. After that, I made her toast and poured her Gatorade so she wouldn’t die and turn into a real zombie.

Q: What zombie do you most admire? - Courtney
A: I <3 Destiny Cheerific (although I’m not sure that’s her real name). She’s the most famous cheerleader ever AND she’s a zombie. I saw her cheer video when I was three and I’ve wanted to be a cheerleader ever since! She’s made tons of videos, which you can see on BrainTube. She also wrote a memoir on cheerleading that includes instructions on how you can make your own cheers. Destiny Cheerific is the best!

Q: How do zombies celebrate the holidays? - Courtney
A: Food, Gifts, Brains.

Q: If you could make any fictional character become a real life zombie, who would you choose? - Courtney
A: Jaz from Bad Kitty. She would be so much fun to hang around with. Either that, or Edward, as long as he didn’t bring Bella.

Q: How does a zombie plan for the impending zombie apocalypse? – Courtney
A: There’s an apocalypse? When? Nobody ever tells me anything! I better go get some cheesy brain puffs and put batteries in the TV remote. Nobody is going to want cheering during an apocalypse, which completely blows.

Q: If you had three wishes, what would they be? Inquiring minds want to know! – Courtney
A: A boyfriend, to be a professional cheerleader when I graduate, and to never see a chicken ever again.

Q: One of my staff members is starting to drive me nuts! She seems to make the easiest tasks last all day so that she doesn't have to do the rest of her job...What can I do? How do I get the point across that she has certain things she HAS to do and then she can do these other things? Thanks for the help! – Brenda
A: Threaten to eat her brains. When you do that, make sure you are dressed up like a movie zombie (which is not how real zombies are) and paint your face to look like you’re dead. A nice shade of grey-green should work. Don’t forget some red for blood accents where needed. If that fails, watch Super Nanny to get some ideas, like making her sit on the naughty chair if she doesn’t do her work. If that fails (from what you said, she seems like a difficult sort), start a barter system with her. For every task she completes, she gets something in return, like maybe a piece of gum (I like Juicy Fruit or Bubble Yum). Make the hard tasks worth more gum. Then on payday, she can trade in her gum for her pay, but she only gets what she’s earned, and not what she thinks she should get for sitting around and not doing her job. Either that, or she can keep the gum and you keep the money. If nothing else works, get a new worker and leave the old one out in the snow.

Q: What's up with teenage zombies these days?- Christy
A: Teenage zombies love to watch TV, when they aren’t chasing humans or cheering at football games. My favorite show is Gossip Girls! I totally guessed that Rufus and Lilly had a kid. Amanda didn’t think so. I don’t understand why Chuck’s dad had to die for that though, and it makes Dan and Serena getting back together totally impossible, which sucks, because they are the best couple on the show. My favorite character is Jenny. She does whatever she wants, no matter what the consequences, and she’s really passionate about fashion, like I am about cheerleading. They should really have a zombie character on Gossip Girls. I read a lot of books too, when I’m not cheering or watching TV. I don’t like to chase humans, but I do like to chase vampires, like the guy I know that is totally like Edward in Twilight, except that he’s a real vampire and doesn’t sparkle, and isn’t dating anyone right now, and his parents are his real parents; he’s not adopted.